If I used this in the shower...

How long would the smell persist and would I have to fight off Mike Smith?
shop.neatorama.com/product-info.php?bacon-soap-pid559.html

But seriously, if I had had this as a mouthy kid, I would have a much worse problem with cursing now

would I have to fight off Mike Smith?

Ever watch HBO's OZ?  :-X  Just kidding... as you probably get devoured first by whatever animal was walking by you soonest as you left the shower.

God, Grrr still makes me giggle like a little child who knows he's seen something he shouldn't

I promise I won't eat you if you wear that... I can't speak for any Mike Smith like bears out there.

Hey you can never go wrong with bacon! Unless you take a nice long trip at night in the woods....