Questions and statements to NOT make at KR

This post is for humor and is intended to NOT be taken seriously.

Please enjoy and feel free to join in. You may also feel free to answer some of these if you like, too.

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“Is a roman candle a good physrep for a wand?”

“I understand bringing lots of socks, drinking plenty of water, and not walking alone in the dark…But I’m pretty sure that the act of dying doesn’t have a volume switch that you can crank to 11.”

“I'm colorblind...Can I just ignore people's headbands?”

“I saw the list of diseases in the logistics guide and I’m wondering if there are any…Uhh...Ya know…’Non- Combat’ related diseases I should be worried about.”

“What exactly happens when I’m shield bashed at the same time from all sides?”

“How many family members and loved ones should I kill off in my Character Chronicle?”

“I read in the rulebook about alchemical adhesive and I would like to bring in physreps for that...”

“I want to play a Nyad and I found a blue paint that’s made by this…I dunno…’Lead’ company. Is that a good paint? I’m willing to share with others.”

“If I’m not magically inclined...Are spell rocks just…Rocks? Would I need ‘Thrown weapon’ to use them?”

“Is it acceptable for me to refer to the director as ‘Lord and Savior’?”

“Is there a Batman profession? If so what are the requirements?”

“I also found a green paint by that ‘Lead’ company, so if you play a goblin, feel free to come to me.”

“If a camera crew comes, do you think my character will get famous enough to be played by Nicholas Cage?”

"Hey, this is a nice bar. What's in that backroom over there?"

"It's totally fine you can just cut through the kitchen!"

"Look at those guys in the skirts!"

"I'm bored!"

Sounds like a good plan! What can go wrong?

What's in the box?

What's in the bag?

What's in the (insert monster here)'s stomach?

It's only Steve with a black claws wearing a blue glowstick. How bad could it be?

"A Bad Idea? What's that?"

"Ok everyone be quiet. Dominic has a plan that will save us all."

"Dominic is such a great role model, I want to be just like him!"

"Look a that big fluffy thing, I'm gonna cuddle it!" (when facing a werewolf)

"I'll just leave the bones from the chicken in the woods."

"These muffins will prevent war."

"Hey look, a cave, maybe theirs treasure!"

"I don't know where that came from. Sure, you can eat it!"

From the mouth of a Storyteller or Marshal: "I need a person to play my mod boss. Is Wally or Steve here? "

"My first time in Travance and I get to be in a massive battle! Neat!"

No Ridigan, that can't possibly happen.

"I'm not a rules marshal BUT..."

"CORSAIR"

"Hey look, a mysterious object that radiates power and/or evil. Should I lick it?"

"What are the Necromancy / Blighted Druid / (Insert Dark Deity) verbals again? I keep forgetting..."

"So I showed up to a mod site and the entire Rochester crew was there in npc gear. This is gonna be easy, right?"

" Has anyone seen James? "

"I think I'll ask the bards to play Taylor Swift."

"This will be much more enjoyable when it snows...Right?"

"I hope the stuff in the fridge was community food."

"And Barbarians hate the mages, and the mages the barbarians, and Sébastien hates the bardics, and everybody hates dragoons!"

"Wait...People are stupid enough to drive down from Rochester, New York...In this weather?"

"Don't kill the enemy, whose been slaughtering the citizens of the proper! We must save their souls!"

"YOLO".'

"I'm not a marshal but..."

"Tower Mod"

[ominous rustling noises]
"Are you a bear?"
[ominous rustling noises intensify]

"WHILE YOUR INTENTIONS MAY BE FOR GOOD, AND YOUR ACTIONS MAY SEEM BOLD-"
"HOLD!!!"
"HOLD!!!"
"HOLD!!!"
"HOLD!!!"
"HOLD!!!"
"HOLD!!!"
"HOLD!!!"
"God Damnit..."

J. wrote: [ominous rustling noises]
"Are you a bear?"
[ominous rustling noises intensify]

The following incident is a true story:

Gideon and Kleidin are walking back to their cabin at 3:00 AM at the old PA camp. We had just received an OOG heads up that a Bear and her cubs were spotted nearby.
*ominous rustling noises*
Geoff: "Hold, are you a bear?"
Voice: "No, we're not bears."
Geoff: "Oh, good. *pause* Oh, shit..."
Gideon: *takes a dirt nap from 5 undead jumping him*

"Do you hear Carlos?"

I'll just run back to my tent by myself quickly. It's no big deal.

"I'll go down the path from Kaladonia to Ostcliff by myself."

"I'll sleep in this tent by myself."

What could go wrong?

There's no way they could have gotten here before us

There's only one of him and there are four of us