Winter here! You no more be stupid!

If you no can read this, you make someone read this you!

Me see stupid people at night with no gloves.  You no smart! 
It get cold now, you like fingers, you wear gloves! 

Me see crazy people no shoes! 
What you think you are?  Hobbit? 
Even Hobbit wear shoes when cold or Hobbit loses foot,
then maybe Blade get new lucky hobbit foot!
Well, me not mean me have lucky hobbit foot now, me not actually take foot, me think maybe if hobbit not wear shoe and foot fall off, maybe not so lucky.

Soon it colder more!
You need hat!  Me know you think hat not fancy.
Me think stupid frozen person not fancy!

There people who good at make clothes, make glove, make shoe, make hat!
You go those people, you give them gold, them give you what you need.
You not got money?  Maybe you do something for them.  Maybe someone help you get gloves.

Blade

I'm going to second this recommendation, and add another step or two. Limbs can only be regenerated if there's a base to work from, after all.

A good, heavy cloak, while it may restrict your movement a little, will go a long way towards keeping you warm. Wear it when you're out while it snows, and you'll be able to remove it, along with the snow on yourself, [strike]in one stroke[/strike]just as quick as a hobbit eating pie.

Change your clothes for dry ones as soon as you can. When ice melts or water evaporates naturally off your body, it draws most of the heat it's using to do so from the fire inside you. This is especially true for the fingers and toes. Dry socks love you like hobbits love a pipe, learn to love them back.

Stay safe (and warm)

Na'ar

MISTER BLADE I MUST SAY THAT I AM VERY IMPRESSED BY YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE SEASONS. YOU ARE CLEARLY A VERY WISE AND WORLDLY FELLOW. HOWEVER I WOULD RECOMMEND NOT OBTAINING A LUCKY HOBBIT FOOT BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS LIKE SWAMP WITCH VOODOO TO ME AND IT WOULD BE VERY SAD TO SEE SUCH AN ACCOMPLISHED MAN FALL INTO THE TRAP OF THIS DARK PRACTICE. PLEASE BE WARY MISTER BLADE, BECAUSE SWAMP WITCHES ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY ARE LIKE MAD GOOD AT HIDING IT.

MISTER NA'AR YOU REGRETTABLY DO NOT SEEM HALF AS EDUCATED AS THE ILLUSTRIOUS MISTER BLADE. I SEE ABSOLUTELY NO ANECDOTES ABOUT HOBBIT FEET IN YOUR ENTIRE POSTING. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE TO TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WITHOUT INCLUDING SUCH VITAL INFORMATION? INSTEAD YOU MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT GROWING LEGS WHICH SOUNDS AWFULLY CLOSE TO SWAMP WITCHERY TO ME. I HOPE YOU WILL TRY TO LEARN FROM MISTER BLADE'S FINE EXAMPLE IN THE FUTURE.

SINCERELY YOURS,
CECILIA CHORROL

I would like to thank Miss Chorrol and Mister Blade for their educational chicanery, your witty wits will serve the witless well.  And I'm sorry but I must agree with Miss Chorrol, Mister Na'ar, you do stand to learn a thing or two about anecdotes, something I highly suggest you remedy.  If you missed the pun in the previous sentence, you are beyond hope.

That said, I'd like to remind all you swamp witches that our meeting has, in fact, been pushed back to next Monday night.  Hadriel the Destroyer has offered to bring her famous lymphoid cookies and asked if someone would be so kind as to scrounge up the blood of seven venomous snakes to drizzle over them.  The Chant of the Elder Heathens will begin at seven o'clock sharp!  Looking forward to seeing you all there!

I would like to second my brothers appreciation of the sheer wit present on this board and would like to add that I have always wanted two platypi (Platypus'?) for gloves.

We Northmen know how to handle cold weather.  You do it with warm clothing.  Here are our rules.

1. Keep it Clean - Your clothes will work better if they're not covered in dirt.  Dirt and grease will let the cold air through.  Furthermore, mud is wet and cold.

2. Keep it Dry: Cold water will suck the life right out of you.  Then it turns to ice and sucks even MORE life out of you.  Real wool is one of the only things that will actually still keep you warm when it's wet, but even that is still better when it's dry.

3. Avoid Overheating: This will make you sweat.  Sweat will eventually freeze.  See above.  Like Na'ar says, dry socks are important, so bring extra and change them often as you sweat into them.  Not just socks, either - I like to wear a light shirt as my inner-most layer.  It's easy to change out, and easy to bring a lot of extras, so I just put on a new one when I've soaked the one I'm wearing.

4. Loose and Layered: This traps warm air between each layer.  It also lets your blood flow easily - tight clothes constrict that, and your blood is one big way your body moves heat to your fingers and toes.  You can also follow rule number 3 better if you use layers that you can take off when you go inside, get into an extended battle, or have to start running away.  Don't forget to put extra layers on places other than your upper body.

5. Wear a hat: Count the holes in your head.  There are a lot of them - some bigger than others.  Your body loses most of its heat through the head.  Wear a good, warm hat that covers your ears.  A scarf around the neck or mouth is a big help, too.  That said, if you feel yourself overheating, a quick way to help that is to bare your head for a few moments.  Just a few.

Do like the ogre says and dress warm.  No one cares what you look like anyway when you're too cold to help fight off the monsters.  They just think you're a stupid pansy who doesn't know how to handle the cold.

--Rannick--