A late night poem

11 years 1 month ago #113068 by Sergei Petsho (Bran MacInnes)
A couplet of rhyme
In theory divine
In execution, sloppy
In pacing, choppy

'Tis easy to see why the author has left no mark
Such amateur scribbling, as if penned in the dark
For it is plain that this drivel was not reviewed
Before from unspeakable sources, the excrement spewed

Your literary incompetence offends
My favorite part is where it ends
For your style is a joke
On your pen may you choke
That of such nonsense we shall see the last
And you may bury a writing career in the past.

-S

"What do you take me for? Some kind of big damn hero?"
Sergei Petsho, Voivode and Steward of Inovar, Owner and Masseur Extraordinaire of Magic Hands Massage.

"What, it's for my research, I swear!"
Nigel Whitworth, Gentleman Apothecary

"Here, kid, suck on this and shut up for a while."
Aengus MacAengus Hesperus, Professional Old Person


OOG: Chris Zipeto
Storyteller
The following user(s) said Thank You: Tim P (OrganicGolem), Nalick (NalickDeMarche)
11 years 1 month ago #113069 by Gabrian Grottings (E.B)
Theory, it is not.
Nor is it divinity.
You misuse the word.


Eli
RP Marshal
  • Nalick
  • Nalick's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • In the place where everything changes, but nothing ever does.
  • Posts: 2261
  • Thank Yous: 1440
11 years 1 month ago - 11 years 1 month ago #113075 by Nalick (NalickDeMarche)
S,

Give the old boy a break
How perfectionist hearts must ache
They release poems unsigned
For their skills are unrefined
Just know that it's for his own sake


-- Nalick

_________________
OOG -- Jeff Balla
Card Team
Kitchen Staff
Last edit: 11 years 1 month ago by Nalick (NalickDeMarche).
The following user(s) said Thank You: Swyft (agentswift)
  • Lois Heimdell
  • Lois Heimdell's Avatar
  • Administrator
  • Administrator
  • "All good stories are built on conflict," said the Raven to the Writing Desk.
  • Posts: 1227
  • Thank Yous: 1026
11 years 1 month ago #113076 by Lois Heimdell (LoisMaxwell)
"Theory" has meaning beyond experiments;
Why are you fixed in pedantic sentiment?
Words have nuance, are mutable as the tides
(and you've also forgotten the haiku's guides).
Oh, S, before you correct my failing rhymes
Do keep in mind my hatred of... poetry.

----

----
((OOG: Cassie Stanley, Marshal Deputy))
  • geezer
  • geezer's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
  • Posts: 4349
  • Thank Yous: 448
11 years 1 month ago #113079 by geezer (geezer)
Replied by geezer (geezer) on topic A late night poem
Poor poems late at night
Do no harm to us
Who have lived long in Travance

Edwin Haroldson
Loremaster
Master of the Mages' Guild

An ethical person does the right thing when no one is watching.

OOG - Charlie Spiegel - Kitchen Marshal

"War is a matter of vital importance to the State..."
The following user(s) said Thank You: Lois Heimdell (LoisMaxwell)
11 years 1 month ago #113087 by Sergei Petsho (Bran MacInnes)
It would seem that a little constructive criticism goes a long way, with the removal of the original attempt at poetry. Perhaps the anonymous contributor will take a few lessons before airing dirty laundry in public.

Oh, and Dr. DuMourne? Do be a dear and realize that words have many different uses and meanings, especially in a literary context. Should one choose to go by strictly literal definition, then one would be a level of fool that belies the level of intelligence required to achieve doctoral status. Perhaps the good Dr. Maxwell can give you a lesson or three.

-S

"What do you take me for? Some kind of big damn hero?"
Sergei Petsho, Voivode and Steward of Inovar, Owner and Masseur Extraordinaire of Magic Hands Massage.

"What, it's for my research, I swear!"
Nigel Whitworth, Gentleman Apothecary

"Here, kid, suck on this and shut up for a while."
Aengus MacAengus Hesperus, Professional Old Person


OOG: Chris Zipeto
Storyteller
Time to create page: 0.491 seconds