Official Language of the EU

The EU have finally decided that after union of currency(The Euro),  that one language is now required (See below):

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby Englishwill  be the official language of the European Union rather than German,which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that Englishspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-inplan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly,this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c'will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion,and keyboards kan have one less letter There will be growing public enthusiasmin the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replacedwith 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expektedto reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have alwaysben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in thelanguag_ is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv_ to steps such as replasing 'th'with 'z' and 'y' with 'i'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vordskontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav_ a reil sensiblriten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tuunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united _urop vil finali kum tru_.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in zeforst plas.

Hahaha, nice! 

Great. An entire land mass of Coronal Klinks.

I thought he was Jewish?