They say that Here in Travance

I was just thinking about this old song I learned back in NJROTC. "They say that in the Navy . . ." Now I know it is mostly a song about complaints but I think it would be hilarious fun to come up with a KR version of it to be sung during a long drive. Here are a few verses from the original so you can get the feel for the cadance see if you can help me come up with some KR verses.

They say that in the Navy, the food is mighty fine, (repeat)
A biscut fell off the table and killed a friend of mine (repeat)
Oh No I Want to Go (repeat)
But they won't let me Go (repeat)
Woah Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh oh oh oh oh HEY (repeat)

They say that in the Navy, the Coffee mighty fine
It looks like muddy water and tastes like turpentine.
Oh No I Want to Go (repeat)
But they won't let me Go (repeat)
Woah Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh oh oh oh oh HEY (repeat)

Just to clarify about the repeats one person sings the line then everyone less repeats

There's an army version too. I think instead of the Woah's it's something like

I don't want no more of army life
Gee mom, I want to go, but they won't let me go
Gee mom, I want to go home.

Yeah I think every service branch has there own version of it but as I was in a Navy ROTC in High School I decided to use that title. :-[

Oh I think I have a verse

They say that here in Travance the beds are mighty fine.
You get a attacked by dark trolls and end up counting time ((reference to death count))