A Thought on Change

To my KR friends… Why do we LARP? Do we do it for enjoyment and pleasure? Do we do it for the story and the adventure? Do we do it for the thrill?

I don’t know if this is the best place to say such things, but a lot has been on my mind. Lately I have been seeing and hearing many unfortunate things. I have heard players spreading awful rumors about others, players stepping over others for power, players calling each other nasty names and being uncooperative, players bullying others to get what they want. A few good friends of mine have considered leaving because of the constant bullying and power struggling.

I just ask... Is this what this game is all about? Many of us are nerds and geeks and have experienced being teased and being hurt. I have also been gone through the same treatment. I have been teased and tormented and treated like garbage. There are many times when I cried myself to sleep or felt worthless as a human being. Now I have seen this game do wonderful things for others. Many players have grown more sociable and overcome stress, depression, and even obesity.

To the following that resort to bullying, name calling, threatening, teasing, and other harmful acts against a player’s self-esteem: Why go through such lengths to emulate those that once mocked you? Why stoop to their level and let anger into your heart? Why forget simple things such as common courtesy, respect and kindness? We mustn't become the monsters that have tormented us our whole lives. We mustn't treat others with disrespect. We mustn't let this game cloud our senses of what is right and how to treat someone right. Sometimes there is a fine line between IG behavior and OOG behavior. There is absolutely no reason to treat others with OOG disrespect for the actions that have happened IG. There is no reason to spread rumors and nasty lies OOG for the sake of IG drama. If you are planning to say or do something that may hurt the feelings of someone OOG, then don’t do it.

We are all human and we are all make mistakes. I am writing this message because I love this game. I love the people in it and the stories that are made. But it makes me sad to see this wonderful game cloud players senses of what is right and what is wrong. I think it’s time we all take a step back and look on our actions. Are the things we are saying and doing potentially causing harm to others? No one should have to feel threatened at KR, because this is a game where we go to have fun, not to scheme or hurt other players. We need to spread love and patience, not hate and greed. We need to work together to make this game something wonderful, because it can be something wonderful.

This is something that has been on my mind for a while. It doesn't matter if you agree or disagree. I don’t want to start any arguments. I only wish for everyone to see into their hearts and think deeply on their actions. Because the way I see it, as long as we continue to advocate hate and spite, this wonderful LARP will not grow.

I thank anyone who took the time to read this message. I know it may sound desperate and pathetic, but these are the thoughts in my heart and I wish to share them with you.

Being way unconnected and a relative Luddite, I don't really know what spawned your comment.

However, this is a common topic of concern with the larger community of LARP. Here:



I'd be happy to discuss it further with anyone privately, if they'd like.

Eh, screw it. That was kind of unhelpful. Let me expand a little more.

For whatever reason, KR sees PvP as something that usually happens with boffer weapons, or indirectly under the direction of Rules Marshals, like with thefts and the like.

PvP can also happen during conflicts between different character interests. In other words, just by roleplaying well. Discomfort when, for example, a character yells at you or confronts you in some way resembles the discomfort of being yelled at or being confronted - probably, not surprisingly.

What to do about that discomfort when it's felt? If you're quick enough, you can push it back out a bit so that it's at arm's length and manageable.

Either player can peek out of character and check the situation a bit. (Probably a quick, "Clarify - wow, that got serious fast!") Then continue on.

If popping out to Clarify shows there is an actual player conflict, both players talk to each other like adults to resolve matters. You can stop RP and try to figure out what's wrong.

The recipient can cut out of the situation. ("OOC - I'm sorry, I can't do this right now. It's pushing a bad button.") Same as before - stop and leave the person alone. Good roleplay can justify treating a character badly, but it can never justify treating a player badly.

Ultimately, as players get to know one another, they get to know each others' particular limits and they get to trust one anothers' play more. But this is harder to do in a very large game without making an effort.

Later on, even after game, you can go up to a person that made you uncomfortable or nervous or what have you and tell them and talk about it with them ("Wow, that stuff with the denunciations was intense!"). You can learn that they're scum. You can learn that they're not so bad. You can learn that you gave them as much or more as they gave you. Better that than living with uncertainty.

Denial is one of the common, reflexive things to do with strong emotions. If strong emotions aren't dealt with up front, they will bite back at you later, and come up in less productive ways. I would suggest people who have more experience with RP PvP have a responsibility to guide folks with less experience over these pitfalls.

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I LARP for a good story. But I go to Camp Sac mostly to wander around the grounds and play chef in the kitchen.

If any particular event or situation occurred that you feel wasn't right or such, pleas make note of it in your event recap.

Hey Daniel,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

We have worked hard as a staff to listen to our players and work for the betterment of the game in all aspects. A strong plot line, great costumes and nice buildings are all secondary to the people and culture of our game.

People who strive to be negative or even those who seek to bully others will usually find themselves uncomfortable in our game because, frankly, we just don't tolerate that kind of poison in our community. As people, we try and take time to meet once a month as a community and see friends and fellow gamers who like to escape all the bad stuff in real life for a weekend and blow off some steam as a hero or villain in a fantasy world. As an organization,we try and make Knight Realms a place where you can enjoy your time with us.

Just try and continue to be as good of a person as you can be, help others and ignore the silliness. If it gets to be too much to ignore, just find myself or another member of staff and I promise you that we will look into it as an individual, a group and as an organization and make steps to improve the situation or scenario as best we can.

In the mean time, keep the great attitude you have and be another reason why I think they players of our game are its greatest strength. I have made some of the best friends I have in the world through it and enjoy their fellowship and company very much at camp sac or elsewhere.

Thank you for taking the time to express yourself. Your opinion matters to me.


Joe

I've had the trials and troubles described at other games in other systems at other LARPs but never really here. KR is family and I I'll fight argue along side the others but... 'Anyone goes for family and I'm coming for you' is kinda how I feel about those at KR. Some of the nicest sweetest friendlest people I know at this game play the meanest nastiest underhanded PCs I know.

This is know from experience.

This I know because I had to leave because of RL and returned 8 years later... And felt at home. Even with arguments hard times fires, mental physical and social fires I'd never say I hate anyone at KR or that they are not like family. You can press peoples buttons you didn't know existed even after so many years. I just had that happen. Paint me surprised. And I saw it only after the fact. My own buttons were pushed too. But if that person called me right now and said help me... I'd do my best by them. Why? Because KR is family.

But... The staff of KR is always there to pick up the pieces and see what happens next. Changes get made every time a serious incident happens and that changing actions is what makes this game grow. This game has grown sooo much. People coming in now have no idea but the same original root is tapping hard on that pool of welcome let us help you have fun, that has always been there.

There is always a learning curve but I bring friends with 'issues' to KR as a form of therapy sometimes. Because of them and their reports more and more are showing serious interest. Personally I think everyone in the world need something like this. Everyone needs a creative outlet. When I can I bring my Therapy Dog too. Trained and certified the 'Wardog' is in TD work. SAR in training too do if you get lost... We should find you in the 200 acres.

On the 200 acres it's amazing to have such a place to play, owned by the director. Back in the start I'd have said never going to happen. So wonderfully wrong.

So on the PVP

Bully me IC get an IC response
Bully me OOC and I'm going to staff if I can't handle it myself. Most times I tend yo think incident over once it's over. You have to to something really bad to have me hold a grudge.

IG bring it!

OOG Lose it please!

Love ya all!

Leslie