May 1210 Chronicle

Travance Chronicles
“All the news that’s fit to print”
- Collected by Portia for May 1210


BETTER KNOW YOUR RULER
The Tactician of Travance: Baron William Montgomery

Meet the one, the only Baron William Montgomery, benevolent leader of Travance, cutting a fashionable figure among Travance’s elite in his trademark gold doublet with a rakishly flipped up collar.

Fashion aside, the Baron, who has held the position for several years, comes from old Travance stock – his parents came over with Johnathan Travance, for whom our town is named, and settled in what is now Alissandria, but was then the sum of Travance. Baron Montgomery quickly rose to prominence as the leader of the town guard, thanks, in no small part, to his commanding presence. James Ranthor II, who served with the Baron on the town guard claimed that the then-captain could subdue miscreants by simply yelling “Get down! Get down on the ground,” to them. The Baron himself contended that such yelling had the power to confuse and shock the enemy into following orders.

Baron Montgomery has his softer side too; as a devotee of Brazen he has a high respect for craftsmanship in all its forms, extolling the expert swordsmanship of Cinder’s father as well as the finely balanced flavors of a dinner made by his own personal chef. He pays Brazen more than lip service as well, offering incentives to the populace to take up trades, at what he confesses is a personal monetary loss.

When it comes to the heat of battle, he’s no shrinking violet. Before a good fight he prefers to take a quiet draught of liquid courage and perambulate the Barony in quietude, receiving protections from his nearest and dearest.

During the last feast, the Chronicle was lucky enough to follow him into battle in the inverted tower, with a quick lesson in how to hold a shield from his Excellency (Baronial tip: thrust your shield upward to force your opponent’s weapon away from you). Following the Baron into a fight was a daunting task, not just because of his dreadful opponents, but because of his quick feet, which ventured to and fro as he struk his foes with staccato accuracy. This, he assured a worn-out Chronicle after the fact, was not entirely typical. In small battles, he tends to speedily evaluate where he might be of most use, while in larger ones he holds back and directs his warriors as a tactician.

This versatility will surely benefit Travance, as will the Baron's vigilance against the foes seeking to destroy the town.

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The Baron's Top Current Threats to Travancean Safety
1) Lord Fallow
2)  Hobgoblin Empire of New Gaaldron
3) The Shadow Behind Travance

Most Dangerous Past Threats to Travance
1) Moat Beast
2) Forces of the Dark Clervy
3) Dark Elves who released the Beholder
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Get Edge!
By Blade

Me know what you think. You think, Blade, Sun hot, me not need clothes no more! Me think you not smart. Blade think Sun warm, maybe you wear shanty clothes during day.  Blade worried, maybe rain come, make shanty clothes wet, then almost like no clothes, who you think you? This not Coasthaven! Blade think even no rain, Sun not like Baron, Sun go bed at night. Blade think you no like shanty clothes then!
  Stupid human think now good time, flowers, birds, but them forget bugs! You like bugs? NO! That why you need good cigar! Bug like cigar like you like bug. So buy Cigar, make happy you!
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EVENT CALENDAR

Friday
     Barbarians meet at the Inn

Saturday
Morning
    Mage’s Guild meeting
    Drega’Mire Brunch
Afternoon
     Market Faire
     Rudolf Von Kreutzdorf leads expedition to four lands of Travance
Evening
    Feast
    Light Clergy gather
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Town Defeats Evil…Again

It's uncanny how often it happens, but during the recent moon evil once again reared its head in Travance, as legions of monsters attacked the town. Fortunately their positions were known via a magical map in the inn. Townsfolk could hover their hand over the markers on the map to discern the variety of evil at that location, or select the chit representing that evil creature to be portaled to its location.

The kerfuffle was over a Brazenite hammer, used to repair the weapons of good templars in a different dimension, where templars, good and evil go after this life to wage eternal war on one another. An Agorran priestess had contrived to break the hammer, thus shifting the balance of power. Fortunately, on Saturday evening, a group of nobles ventured to the inverted tower, performing the correct ritual to fix the hammer, while others stayed to protect the town from the converging goblin hordes that remained on the magic map.

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Von Kreutzdorf Alkhemikal Kandies & Apothecarium
Whatever your need, be it herbal, alkhemikal, or confectionary, we have it.  Be sure to visit our booth at Market Faire!  Ask for Rudolf and remember, It's the Gummy that makes it Yummy!
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Promotions and Deals
*Sir Lethias Wrathchild, former First Knight of Drega'mire, has been named Knight Protector of the Fields of Fallow, the position formerly held by Lord Renaudierre.

*Slack McDermitt, former squire to the Baron, has become a Knight of the Barony.

*Reports have reached the Chronicle that a trade treaty between the Hibernians and Travance has taken place. Unfortunately, the Chronicle was unable to confirm these reports before the issue went to press.

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Put some zip in your lip and pep in your step with Portia’s Pickles, available at Market Faire.
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WEDDING BELLS?
Gyspy Forced into Sham Marriage

A strange creature with a golden headdress claimed to have married Marika Korsova on Saturday night in the inn, after she proffered her hand to his outstretched one. The creature, who spoke in a strange language decipherable only to Chroniclerites, claimed to be a healer who had stumbled into town for reasons unknown. For her part, Korsova seemed upset about her unintended nuptials. For nearly an hour the creature refused to release Korsova's hand, despite the pleadings of the crowd and the personal intervention of the Baron. Eventually, a few tactful spells released Korsova from its golden grasp and the denizens of Travance sent the being on its way.
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WORD OF THE MOON
Jejune adj. lacking nutritive value; uninteresting, insignificant, or dull; juvenile
“The Celts’ jejune humor failed to amuse the scholar.”

Brought to you by Church of the Chronicler.
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Listen Blade!
Advice by Blade

I am a priest, but sometimes doing my duty to my god raises the ire of those around me. How should I respond to them?

Signed,
Faithful in Proper

Me took while to know what you say. Me thought maybe you spell air wrong, but me find out you mean anger. Me wonder why make people angry? Me think maybe you worship evil magic god? Me let you know right now, Apollo not god no matter what he say, him just cast magic, but him not cast on me, so him not all evil, just him magic. Me think maybe you worship good god and evil mage people no like it? Me not know which so me teach you end conflict.

People get mad. Stupid people get mad over stupid things. Me think you have choice. Me think you break limb or two, then them know not to get mad over stupid thing, you show reason them be mad. Them still mad about first thing, no worry, them got lots of bones.  Me show you good ones to break.

Maybe you priest no good at break limb. Maybe you need make mad people not mad.  Me suggest maybe them you go say 'You mad? You stupid!  Me not so bad, here cigar! Me you talk, maybe you not know what you mad?'  Them still mad?  Take back cigar, it no get worse! and then you have cigar!

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Blade’s Smokables
Buy cigar.  Make happy you!
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CRIME BLOTTER
*Early Sunday morning, Father Edwin Haroldson was robbed and a barbarian staying with him was killed. There have been conflicting reports as to the culprits, who may have been a band of drow, or a sorcerer and a dark priest with several other conspirators.

*A vampire assaulted Sorel last moon, injuring him seriously. Afterwards, while Sorel was still gravely wounded, a dark sith appeared and stole his weapon.

*A trained assassin has been after the Khitan population; Baoyu Kunsai was reportedly attacked and almost killed on several occasions.

*Oni are still at large in Drega’mire and are reportedly attempting to turn captured children into demons. It is unknown why the oni saw fit to give the children necklaces that seem to repel demons.


Corrections
The previous edition of the Chronicle erroneously stated that the alleged Shantytown Shanker perpetrated his gruesome murder in December, when in fact the crime was committed in January.


This edition of the Travance Chronicle has been generously sponsored by Father Edwin Haroldson, of the church of Valos; and Rudolf Von Kreutzdorf of Von Kreutzdorf Alkhemikal Kandies & Apothecarium.