URGENT!!! Please, I need your help!

Good people of Travance,
How wonderful it is to meet you all! I am a merchant from the dunes of Amon'Zad and I will be arriving in your glorious town on Friday, April 6th. I must humbly ask for some assistance because Travance is quite foreign to me. I am seeking the company of the well known Captain Albatross. Does anyone know where the Captain will be stationed that day/weekend, and would you please lead me to them? I will give you a discount on the items in my shop, Elias's Enchanted Emporium, for your trouble.

It is of the utmost importance that I meet with them and finally bring rightful justice to the Albatross before the apocalypse is upon us. I am a man of peace and tolerance, but the dishonest, arrogant, boorish, sick-minded bastard has done enough damage to this world and needs to be taken care of promptly before they ruin anything else. Kill the infection at the source, if you will. This is a very urgent matter so your assistance would be greatly appreciated. You will certainly be compensated for your time.

xox,
Elias of Elias's Enchanted Emporium

***Not Caelvan***

I'm curious to what Albatross has done to warrant this. Would you care to explain? After all when you say phrases like "from the dunes of Amon'Zad" and "Kill the infection", it peaks my interest.

I'd love to have a chat with you Friday night.

-Z'Hade Enam Merikh Tazam

Elias, you are to report to the nearest Guardmen upon your arrival at the Campaign's Base of Operations (the Dragon Claw Inn). Accusations will be dealt with as well as a minor punishment rendered for this public declaration of conspiracy to commit harm/murder upon a subject of the Barony. Should such accusations prove false, justice will be rendered to Albatross. However, this is neither the time nor place for such foolish vendetas. Hopefully your wares will survive the Wastes ...

~ Cpl. Arradir Go-Dringol

Arradir Go-Dringol wrote: Elias, you are to report to the nearest Guardmen upon your arrival at the Campaign's Base of Operations (the Dragon Claw Inn). Accusations will be dealt with as well as a minor punishment rendered for this public declaration of conspiracy to commit harm/murder upon a subject of the Barony. Should such accusations prove false, justice will be rendered to Albatross. However, this is neither the time nor place for such foolish vendetas. Hopefully your wares will survive the Wastes ...

~ Cpl. Arradir Go-Dringol

I actually don't think this is about me. I mean honestly I'm sure I'm guilty of a lot but they called me "boorish". Is there another Albatross who is not a citizen of Travance? Maybe this is about them and Elias is innocent of conspiracy to commit murder of a Subject of the Barony.

The Albatross has committed numerous monstrosities to warrant this. The list is absolutely endless. I would be here all evening if I were to explain everything. However, I will happily meet with you Friday and explain my situation.

Captain Cade Tanwyn wrote:

Arradir Go-Dringol wrote: Elias, you are to report to the nearest Guardmen upon your arrival at the Campaign's Base of Operations (the Dragon Claw Inn). Accusations will be dealt with as well as a minor punishment rendered for this public declaration of conspiracy to commit harm/murder upon a subject of the Barony. Should such accusations prove false, justice will be rendered to Albatross. However, this is neither the time nor place for such foolish vendetas. Hopefully your wares will survive the Wastes ...

~ Cpl. Arradir Go-Dringol

I actually don't think this is about me. I mean honestly I'm sure I'm guilty of a lot but they called me "boorish". Is there another Albatross who is not a citizen of Travance? Maybe this is about them and Elias is innocent of conspiracy to commit murder of a Subject of the Barony.

Last I recall, the Albatross was a traveler and did not commit to one town so therefore I have not committed any crime upon a Travance citizen. If anything, I am doing your town a noble favor for warning all of you about a monster.

It would be my pleasure to clear up any misunderstanding with relation to the law; just know that ignorance of the law is not an excuse.

--Sgt. Nalick Underhill

Just making it clear, I'm not the Elias in question here, just don't people want to confuse me with this other Elias.

I'm also like 57% sure I'm not the Albatross in question. That guy sounds like the worst and I'd be happy to help Elias, not Elias Ashby, find this awful, not the real Captain Albatross, Captain Albatross.

I think Captain Albatross is right. That description doesn't sound like them at all. They are very nice and helpful and take care of people here. They are definitely not a monster!

What is "boorish?"

Also, Miss Seneschal Lois is right. If the laws here regulated manners, I'd get arrested all the time for belching in public!

Either way, Mr. Elias Not-ashby of Elias's Enchanted Emporium, I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding and I hope we can sort it out nicely.

-Midori Suarez
Daughter of Mercy

P.S. what is an Emporium?

Midori, Some would call me boorish. its a nice word fra a hooligan like me.