My Actions

Travance,
Enough of you have commented on the matter to where I feel compelled to lay my cards down.
This first bit is going to be facts only. I'll write my opinions below.

For anyone unaware of what some of us are referring to, this past feast, after the conclusion of our negotiations with Coast Haven, I shot and fatally wounded Drell Kalaheart, one of the diplomats. After the final group left, I fired a bullet into his throat, and evaded capture. Upon my return to Travance, I immediately turned myself in to Captain Oren and Lady Lois. For those wondering, I am under arrest, and though I walk freely around the Dragon's Claw, I am under constant watch, and am not permitted to leave to Proper.

Drell Kalaheart was my father. I was born Damien Kalaheart, to a loving mother, whose maiden name was Cynthia Marcain. I was their third of five children, having an older brother and sister, and a younger brother and sister. Together, the family ran and operated The Marcain Accounts, a small money lending business. This business has been on my mother's side of the family for quite a few generations, and my father married into it, hence, why it is named after her, rather than him.

Around five years ago, when I was eighteen, my father had my family executed. Cult-like followers stormed our manor in Angst, and on his command, bound us, forced us to kneel before him, and began to slit our throats, one by one, as he watched with pleasure in his eyes. It was only due to the brave efforts of my eldest brother that I alone was able to escape. Five years of living on the streets in hiding, and I ended up finding my way to Travance. Naturally, this left my father as the sole inheritor of the business.

Now, the negotiations. I was among the first of three groups that were able to visit and speak with the three diplomats. However, I slipped into the shadows as the rest of the group exited, and was able to sit in on everything from there. Both other meetings, as well as the in between. During these in-between moments, Jackdaw spoke alone with the diplomats, and they gave him blunt opinions on their feelings. After the first meeting, they complained to him that we were only wasting their time. After the second, they complimented the up-front, threatening remarks that our various leaders made to them. Things were going well. However, for one reason or another, once the third group left, the diplomats laughed in Jackdaw's face. They stated, up front and bluntly, that they had no respect for Travance, those they spoke to, or the Count. They berated him for wasting their journey for a trip that would amount to nothing. They had no intention of telling the Merchant Council anything but how badly of fools we made ourselves out to be.

Once Jackdaw left, and the diplomats chatted among themselves for a moment, I took my shot, and fled. The bullet went through Kalaheart's neck, and the force slammed him into a pillar, possibly causing further damage. I fled before I could confirm the kill, though it is unlikely anything short of divine intervention could save him from that wound.

These are the facts of the situation, to the best of my knowledge. I know not how he became a respected enough member of society to end up with the responsibilities of diplomacy for the Merchant Council.

Before you tack your responses, allow me a few minutes to now post my opinions on the matter.

I do not regret the actions I took that day. The life I took was that of a vile, uncaring beast, who likely had no intention of dealing with Travance, or anyone, in any way that would not solely benefit himself. He was scum, scrapped off the bottom of the boot of Angst and given life. I have no love for him since he forced me to watch my mother and siblings be drained of their blood, and tried to do the same to me. But his villainy alone is not what killed him that day.

Costadori myself, I know as well as anyone that strength is the only way to illicit a response from the Merchant Council. After the negotiations, despite Travance's best efforts, the diplomats were unmoved. They invaded us, and cared not for our opinions on the matter, and thus far, they had no repercussions. I took the life of the scum they brought with them, both as personal justice, and as a message. Their transgressions would not go unanswered.

Given the same situation a thousand times, knowing only what I knew then, I would always make the same decision.

Here, however, lies my failure. I cannot truthfully say I am unbiased in the matter, and my judgement was clearly twisted by my desire for vengeance. My actions were the equivalent of flipping a coin, where heads solved our problems, but tails sent us to war. I am relieved to be rid of the horrors of my past, but I made that coin toss on behalf of all of Travance, as well as all of the soldiers and citizens of both nations who may now be faced with war. This, I had no right on this world to do. Not of my own volition.

The justice I sought was not true justice, as though one bad soul was sent to the Gods, in doing so, I risked so much of those both involved and innocent.

So I've wronged you, Travance. If not on a legal level, than on a moral one. As of now, I await the deliberation of the nobility to decide my fate. But past a verdict, I still must live with what I've done. I invited your thoughts, your opinions, and your criticisms, and deserve every bereavement I will endure from this. You all deserve to say to me what you will, should you wish to. I will read and take to heart your responses, should you give them, and only respond when asked to.

I hope one day to regain the honor I have lost through this, and repair my relations with my friends, my comrades, and perhaps most importantly, my Knight.

Thank you all.