"Guys Rules"
- Liz

- Elite Member

- Posts: 664
- Thank Yous: 173
17 years 2 weeks ago #19661
by Liz (Liz)
"Guys Rules" was created by Liz (Liz)
What do you think guys? A friend emailed this list to me and since we have lists for women I thought Id throw this on there....
The Guy's Rules
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides. LET IT BE.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!!!
7. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
11. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, we meant the other one.
12. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, do it yourself.
13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials!
14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!
15. All real men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
17. If we ask what is wrong, and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
18. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
20. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
21. You have enough clothes.
22. You have too many shoes.
23. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
The Guy's Rules
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides. LET IT BE.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!!!
7. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
11. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, we meant the other one.
12. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, do it yourself.
13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials!
14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!
15. All real men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
17. If we ask what is wrong, and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
18. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
20. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
21. You have enough clothes.
22. You have too many shoes.
23. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
- geezer

- Platinum Member

- Posts: 4349
- Thank Yous: 448
17 years 2 weeks ago #19664
by geezer (geezer)
Edwin Haroldson
Loremaster
Master of the Mages' Guild
An ethical person does the right thing when no one is watching.
OOG - Charlie Spiegel - Kitchen Marshal
"War is a matter of vital importance to the State..."
Replied by geezer (geezer) on topic "Guys Rules"
Where to start.
#6 should be first!
Never say #8.
10-12 are so true
Ditto for 17-19.
I hate golf, but the senteimtn is correct. My DS&WW is as mcuh into sports as I am.
"The awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to Henry Kissinger made political satire obsolete." Tom Lehrer
#6 should be first!
Never say #8.
10-12 are so true
Ditto for 17-19.
I hate golf, but the senteimtn is correct. My DS&WW is as mcuh into sports as I am.
"The awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to Henry Kissinger made political satire obsolete." Tom Lehrer
Edwin Haroldson
Loremaster
Master of the Mages' Guild
An ethical person does the right thing when no one is watching.
OOG - Charlie Spiegel - Kitchen Marshal
"War is a matter of vital importance to the State..."
- Matt D

- Platinum Member

- Photographer extraordinaire!
- Posts: 1998
- Thank Yous: 557
17 years 2 weeks ago #19666
by Matt D (MattD)
Elias Ashby
Proprietor of the Ashby Family General Store
Lord Templar Rayven Nightwing of the Order of Holy Light
(OOG - Matt D. - Photographer)
Replied by Matt D (MattD) on topic "Guys Rules"
I agree. Enough said.
Elias Ashby
Proprietor of the Ashby Family General Store
Lord Templar Rayven Nightwing of the Order of Holy Light
(OOG - Matt D. - Photographer)
- Father Paul

- Senior Member

- Kitchen Marshals
- Posts: 188
- Thank Yous: 1
17 years 2 weeks ago #19668
by Father Paul (Father Paul)
Replied by Father Paul (Father Paul) on topic "Guys Rules"
#2 I tell her all the time, put it back the way you found it!
- Magnus

- Platinum Member

- In fearful Day, In Raging Night...
- Posts: 1040
- Thank Yous: 483
17 years 2 weeks ago #19675
by Magnus (hippy g0th)
Matthew Majchrzak
ST
Lord General Magnus
"Not Dead Yet!"
Replied by Magnus (hippy g0th) on topic "Guys Rules"
I loose the man game?
Matthew Majchrzak
ST
Lord General Magnus
"Not Dead Yet!"
- Woolsey Bysmor

- Platinum Member

- Posts: 3110
- Thank Yous: 357
17 years 2 weeks ago #19678
by Woolsey Bysmor (Osred)
-OOG Michael Smith
Replied by Woolsey Bysmor (Osred) on topic "Guys Rules"
How to Impress a Woman
Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her,
Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her,
Smile at her, Laugh with her,
Cry with her, Cuddle with her,
Shop with her, Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers, Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back for her.
How to Impress a Man
Show up naked.
Bring beer.
Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her,
Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her,
Smile at her, Laugh with her,
Cry with her, Cuddle with her,
Shop with her, Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers, Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back for her.
How to Impress a Man
Show up naked.
Bring beer.
-OOG Michael Smith
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